分卷阅读15（1 / 1）

ThetwoupsamefloatingbakandPottergrabbedhisasswiftlyandelegantlyashealwayshadwiththeSnith.MaybeitwasatestamentofadulthoodthatDraoouldfinallyadmitthatwithoutgrindinghisteeth.Althoughhewasstillonvinedtheword‘elegant’hadnopeanywherenearPotter.

Draowathedashedrankhisoffeepensively,hisexpressionturningmoreserious.

“Afterthewar—”

Ohno.

“—Ididn’treallyknowwhattodo.BeominganAuror…itwassomethingthatseemedrightatthetime,youknow,wheneverythingwasfallingapartaroundme.Thethingis,everythingkeptfallingapart,buttherewasnomorewar.Ihadnoideahowtodealwiththat.”PotterputdownhisupandfromwhatDraoouldsee,hestartedwringinghishandsinhisp,hiseyesfixedonthetable.“AssoonasIstartedtraining,IrealisedIwasn’tgoingtobehappythere.But…Ididn’twanttodisappointanyone.”

“Disappoint?”Draoehoed,furrowinghisbrows.“Asifyououlddoanythingto—”

“That’sexatlythepoint,”Potteried.“Peoplehavethisideaofme,thisimagetheyreated,basedonwhatIdidtodefeatVoldemort,wheninreality…”Potterpressedhislipstogether.Itlookedpainful.“NomatterwhatIdo,itwillalwaysbeadisappoi.Itwillneverbegoodenough.Like,anyouimaginewhatwouldhappenifIstartedtellingpeopleI’mnotbeominganAuroranymore?Thepubliwouldgomad!Andthenthere’sotherpeople,likeMGonagall.”Heletoutasigh.“Infifthyear,shevowedtodoeverythinginherpowertohelpmegetthatjob,andshedid.Whatdoyouthinkshe’sgoingtosayifItoldherallhereffortswerefornothing?But…Ijustouldn’tgoonlikethat.”

“Soyou’rebasiallylyingtoeverybody?”

Potter’sfaetwistedandittookamomentbeforeheslowlynodded.

“DoGrangerandWeasleyknowaboutthis?”Draoasked.

“They…TheyknowI’monsabbatial.Wetalkedaboutitafewtimes,andtheywerereallyuanding,but…”

“You’reworriedyou’lldisappointthem,too?”

Potterlookedup,hisfaepalerthanusual.“It’snotlikethatwiththem.Iknowthey’llsupportmenomatterwhat.Ijust—It’ssohard,expiningittothem.”

Thefollowingsilenefeltsopregnantwithmeaning,itwasstifling.Potter,openinguplikethat,showingDraoallhisvulnerabilities…Hehadnoideahowtoproessthat.

“Whyareyoutellingmethis?”heaskedarefully.

“Youasked,”Pottershrugged.

“Notreally.”

“Look,Drao,it’snotlikeIenjoytalkingaboutthesethings,Ijust—Theothers…Theydon’treallygetit.Imean,wealllostpeople,sotheyuandthegrief,but…Ijustfeltlostafterthewar,andmyfriends…theydidn’treallyuandwhatitwaslikeforme.”

“Oh?”WasPotterimplyingDraowoulduand?Hedidn’tknowhowhefeltaboutthat.

“Yeah,”Pottermurmured.“Theydidn’tseemtohavethatmuhtrouble,findingtheirpe.Meanwhile,I’mstillstrugglingeverydaytojust…keepittogether.”

Draoshiftedinhisseat.ThisoionfelttoomeaningfulforPottertohaveitwithhimofallpeople.But,eventhoughhedidn’tlikeit,hehadtoadmit,hedidgetwhatPotterwastalkingabout.

“Itseemstome,anawfullybigpartofyourlifeinvolvespleasingothers.”AndboydidDraoknowwhatthatwaslike.Evennow,withhisfatherinAzkaban,heoftenaughthimselfwifhewouldapproveofDrao’sations.Italwaystookalottoremindhimselfhewasn’tsupposedtoareaboutthatanymore.

“Yeah,Iguessitis,”Pottermurmured.“Ian’thelpit.It’salwaysbeenthatway.”

“Youdiedforfuk’ssake,”Draosaid,irritationfringupinhim.“Youdiedtosaveallofourarses.Youdon’toweanybodyanything.Ifanything,therestoftheworldowesyou!”

JudgingfromthelookonPotter’sfae,hehadn’texpetedDraotosaysomethinglikethat.Holy,Draohadn’texpetedhimselftosaysomethinglikethat.Butitwastrue,wasn’tit?Potterhadsavedbloodyeveryone.Andnowhestillfeltlikehehadtodowhatpeopleexpetedofhim?

Draosighed,dreadingwhathewasabouttosay.“Youdorealiseitwouldn’tbeselfishofyoutolivethelifeyouwantforyourself,right?”

Potter’seyeswidened.

“You’renotdoinganybodyanyfavours,beingalltorturedandbrokenupaboutit.”Ashereahedforhisup,Draomadesurehiseyesdidn’tleavePotter’s.Itwasharderthanhehadantiipated.Hewasbeingahyporite.Beausethatwasexatlywhathewasdoing,but,apparently,hewasbetterathidingitthanPotter.Butitwasn’tlikehewasn’twonit.Hewastryingtobebetter.Itjusttooktime.Apparently.

“I…Ihaven’tthoughtofitthatway,”Pottersaid,astonishmentwrittenalloverhisfae.

“Well,asmymotheralwayssays,youan’tmakeotherpeoplehappyifyouaren’ttrulyhappyyourself.”

Potterlookedlikehewantedtosaysomething,buthestayedsilentandsimplynodded.Draoinwardlysnorted.HowhadthisturnedintoaMindHealingsession?Itwasutterlyabsurd.

“Areyouhappy?”Pottersuddenlyasked.Drao’smouthdroppedopeninvoluntarily.Hisinstintstoldhimtoreplywithsomethingsnarky.But…afterPotter’shoy,baringhisiies,itjustdidn’tfeelright.

“Idon’tknow,”Draosighed.“IthinkI’mhappierthanIwasrightafterthewar.”

Hedidn’twanttogetintotoomanydetails.JustbeausePotterfeltomfortablesharinghisseretswithDrao,didn’tmeanhehadtodothesame.

“Youeverthinkaboutgettingajob?”Potterasked.

Draosnorted.“Asifanyonewouldemployme.”

“Idon’tthinkit’slikethatanymore.”

Draoshrugged.“Bethatasitmay,Ian’treallyseemyselfwforsomeone.Ihavemyfamily’siane,whihisabouttheonlythingtheMinistrydidn’tt

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